No More Cold Noses
New Invention Called A "Studio" Moves Wisconsin Crews Indoors

KEWAUSKUM, WI - You may be reading this in the comfort of your own home or office or some other building, but there are those that are less fortunate ...until now.
    A recent discovery in the Milwaukee area has led to the construction of a building in which filming could take place. Until now, filming a movie in Milwaukee meant shooting in outdoor locations, a sort of "Third World" of filmmaking.

    "In all my years of working in this business, I never thought I'd see the day," said sound recorder Nate Kessling. "These are the good old days."

    The studio was built from the latest in construction technology, a sort of "bricks and mortar" type structure. Upon entering the building many people were struck by how their feet were no longer in contact with the earth. Some were nearly moved to tears upon realizing what the term "room temperature" meant.

    "This is a great moment for filmmaking in Wisconsin," said Film Commissioner Gordon. "I've worked in L.A. and New York and seen buildings." He went on to demonstrate how if you put the index finger of each hand in contact with the thumb of the other hand you can make a film frame. "Things are looking up," he said.

    Other attendees at the gala grand opening were less impressed. Brad Romann, owner of a trucking company that rents box trucks as mobile studios, saw plenty of flaws. "My studios drive up to your door," said Roman. "Who in the hell wants to work in a building that has nothing but a big white seamless wall?" He added that the studio was far too quiet and without hearing the outdoor sounds workers are accustomed to would cause stress.


Typical workday before the studio

    Other detractors included Gladys Waldorf who prefers things the way they are. "We've been filming outdoors in Wisconsin for years and it works just fine." Waldorf explained that a structure can be made simply by tying poles together and wrapping them in black cloth. "It gives with the wind which means it won't fall over and crush you like this abomination will someday. Enjoy your deathtrap!" She announced before walking out.

    The building is part of a larger effort to attract business to a state that has a $5 billion budget shortfall.

Brad Romann "Who in the hell wants to work in a building..."

Previous efforts to create an "interior" location